justin5676

Thunder clapped and lightning bellowed. Lighting does not bellow. It is thunder that is making the noise. It sure sounds nice, but it makes no sense. Think of the flashing ...

Anything wishing you hurt That line doesn't make any sense. Also, the way you use "it's" is wrong. It should be "it's", not "its". This is kind of cliche in ...

Hey Sam! I know this girl in real life; she's absolutely awesome. But, good luck here. Most people here are very honest, and extremely helpful. If you post your work, ...

It just doesn't make any sense. Bubblegum is a flavor of gum. To my knowledge, bubblegum can't be sour. I've never experienced that. This poem would make more sense if ...

...because both of which are crunchy when you bite into them. Old ladies are like mayonnaise..

I just started photography, and took my first real pictures (ones other than crappy throw away cameras) in Mexico. The ones with my girlfriend aren't really meant to be artistic ...

Aloha, and welcome to YWS! I like this story. I like all stories with some kind of action in it and this one had plenty! The blood and gore...well, not ...

Anyone else?:shock:

Take them to the hospital -.- What would you do if your mom was an apple and your dad was a banana?

I'm kind of confused as to what is going on. From what I understand, he is getting captured. From my understanding, "first chance at forever" means he will become immortal? ...

Thanks for the input guys. Gryphon, it says where it is taking place. It takes place in a small village. There are warriors with shield and sword, and assassins with ...

Thanks Juncboks =] I fixed all of the repetition problems and any other that I could find or others have pointed out. Any more specific critique would be great. I ...

Ohh, okay. Sorry about that =P

This really isn't poetry. Just a bunch of questions with no rhythm or flow. Amen.

Juncboks- I don't really quite know what to say about this piece. Firstly, on YWS we usually steer clear from trying to explain poetry beforehand as a famous poet once ...