jsull60880

Please leave me some feedback. And thank you to those of you who have already given me so many helpful suggestions! Neeson had never seen so many bodies. He had ...

Thank you both so much for your feedback! Your suggestions are extremely helpful. I am in the process of working on a few revisions and I will post again soon. ...

First off, I love the way you have so effectively established the personality of your character so quickly in the story. What a cocky self-righteous person. I love the dryness ...

This sounds like the beginning (or end?) of a very complex and compelling story. It leaves me wanting more. Sounds very epic. The main problem I had with it is ...

Interesting story. I look forward to seeing where this goes. A few comments: You should probably avoid overused phrases such as "like a deer caught in headlights" and "a million ...

Please leave some feedback! Thanks! Neeson had never seen so many bodies. He had known the men less than a fortnight and now they all lie bloody and lifeless, twisted ...

Neeson had never seen so many bodies. He had known the men less than a fortnight and now they all lie bloody and lifeless, twisted among the thick brambles of ...

Again, I think you may want to work more on physical description. I like that you revealed a little more background on the main character. One thing you may want ...

This sounds like it will be a very interesting story and I look forward to reading more of it. There are a few things I would recommend changing: There is ...