jennyr

This was beautifully written, of course, but I have to wonder how old Eden is because the fact that they're spooning . . . I found awkward. Eren is 14. ...

It surprised Matthias that he was sweating on such a cold day. He could see a blood stain down the left side of his shirt. Matthias was surprised he chose ...

Thanks for your thoughts; receiving feedback is awesome! Though Matthias's intentions for Tristan are purposefully a little ambiguous/disconcerting in the first chapter, don't worry--he's not the type

Hey guys. I completely re-did Chapter 1, and I think it's significantly improved--it flows better and there's more characterization, conflict, and plot details. It is longer than my first version, ...

Hey, thanks so much for the review! It was helpful to me. I'm hearing some of the same suggestions, so obviously I need to change a few things. I recognize ...

Thanks for the feedback! I'm working on re-doing the first chapter. I think it's the weakest by far of all my chapters. Though I want to keep the mystery, I'll ...

Well, you sort of threw me off because I thought that maybe Matthias WAS the father but he was hiding after they'd tried to kill him. Or something *sighs* Not ...

ah ha! But what IF his father hadn't been murdered? Then there would be no story. I guess it's a good thing then, right? :) You should seriously reach out ...

The conversation between the doctor and Matthias was really good. You did a great job using the words of another character to provoke Matthias's reactions. I am getting a very ...

Chapter 6 Matthias wished he had never met the boy. It would have been easier. Maybe he could have killed him at the beginning, before he knew anything about him, ...

Thanks for the awesome review! Your feedback was helpful--I agree that I could do more showing and less telling. Sometimes I don't feel like writing specific parts of the unfolding ...

Thank you for the instructions! I think I figured it out.

Does anyone know how to add chapters to a novel? Because I've clicked on the 'Edit Novel' button many times, but I don't ever see how to input more text/add ...

Chapter 3 Matthias came in to check on the boy the next morning. Tristan was lying on his right side on the bed, head on the pillow, eyes open, dark ...

I edited the post to include just the first two chapters because I think the length of the original post was a little intimidating to readers. Thanks in advance to ...