idea999

good, but a little more like you've just written sentences and then cut it up to make a poem... I'd work on the flow a bit more, but othrewise I ...

I thought that it was good but i think you could have made it simpler...shorter lines maybe?? sometimes beauty comes out of simplicity and it can make it more affective

My body shakes I am stunned As I sit immobile Clutching my knees Against my chest My only company, Inside My heart beats A native war drum My legs Are ...