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ichigo

  • Dramatic Poetry Re: It was just one night.

    it isn't actually supposed to be a rhyming poem and any rhyme done was not supposed to have an effect at all, but thanks anyway :) also the lack of ...

    Mar 13, 2011
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: Intimacy

    I really don't think that you should make it more obvious that its a guy or mention his name. I think its obvious to the people who are actually paying ...

    Mar 13, 2011
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: It was just one night.

    hey, I'm a little out of practice so please be brutal :) I clench my fists Tight, As you whisper my new name ‘Bitch’ It was just one night I ...

    Mar 13, 2011
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Tomorrow

    I'm not going to lie, i got a bit lost in that poem. The title doesn't give much away (which is fine) but neither did the actual poem so i'm ...

    Mar 13, 2011
  • Other Poetry Re: Autmn Leaves

    Ummmm, that whole 'i love you very much' was not obvious at all, took me awhile to find it haha. Anyway, back to the poem. I really loved it. It ...

    Mar 13, 2011
  • Lyric Poetry Re: When I found You

    hey, i really liked the theme of this poem, i think its really rather sweet. But i do agree with the other two critiques, the rhyming and flow of it ...

    Mar 13, 2011
  • Lyric Poetry Re: ode to my bed

    A feeling I cannot replace Is the love I find in the space Of your unbreakable embrace My love. And when life drives us apart, Loneliness enters my heart, A ...

    Apr 2, 2010
  • Other Poetry Re: Autumn time

    hey, this is a short poem i wrote a few days ago, i was planning on adding to it, but im not quite sure what to do yet, so i ...

    Jun 20, 2009
  • Romantic Novels Re: Love?

    I wrote this on a whim, it is very unpolished and any constructive criticism is greatly needed, I just don't know what to correct to make it better, however, i ...

    Feb 2, 2009
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: The Strangest Hero EDIT: more added

    I liked this, it was good, you kept the storyline progressing well and it was well written. I have a few issues though, the last dramatic speech bit didn't really ...

    Jan 21, 2009
  • Romantic Novels Re: The Vampires Kiss (Part 4)

    HI!!! ive read all of your chapters so far and am enjoying them greatly. Anyway, a few pointers, the huge chunk of writin in the middle needs to be split ...

    Nov 27, 2008
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Tree-Climbing

    right, i'am back. Ok so your poem is really great. really. I loved the last stanza, 9th stanza and 6th stanza best because they flow so well and are worded ...

    Oct 19, 2008
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Tree-Climbing

    I loved this so i gave u a star! Enjoy. You told us the story so well. I loved it and to think you are only 13! As your senior ...

    Oct 19, 2008
  • Lyric Poetry Re: That guy!

    Ok so i have a few things to point out. You start with a stanza that doesn't rhyme but then in the next two it does. I think you need ...

    Oct 19, 2008


here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can home or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
— e.e. cummings