iBel29

well I like it though, I was curious what the man would wish for, but i wish for you to continue it, because now I am curious why the Spirit ...

It was a bit too fast for what was happening. But i love the beginning of it, it is such a catch. You explain quite well, but try to make ...

And that is when the best work sometimes come in, maybe romance is my weakness but the beginning was true and excellent, it does say not convey it in a ...

first thing i noticed is the misspelling of dinner. But d@ydre@mer27 has covered the most important point. “ she remembered me of my mother ” replace remember with reminded. Don’t ...

First thing try not to be plain with the language, I see you are trying to give back-history, but I think you should give glimpses of them through perhaps showing ...

Honestly can you just get published, because this truly sounds like a novel in a shop. I like how descriptive it is when she talks, I actually like the Lady ...

I read your last poem, regret, and loved it so I decided to check the rest, this next one particularly caught me at the last lines. I am a sucker ...

This is good, but the second paragraph ruined the flow of this poem, it feels as if you seem unsure where to break it especially the first line ‘ Bound ...

I think the general atmosphere you are setting is good, that is the general plot, but try not to be cliché with the language, making it seem dread. Put emphasis ...