hunterzero

When you changed the parts with the Elder Egret, you made it pretty obvious that the boy, Argöl, is the boy who is now at Inoq Aibb. Try to attempt ...

He was going on a quest All the way to the Elven realm too. The capitalization (yeh... :? ) is off. Also, it could potentially be grammatically incorrect. Hundreds of ...

They were extremely powerful, and nobody can resist them when they try to attack. Grammatically, it should be: They were extremely powerful, and nobody could resist them when they try ...

There are coupla' mistakes in your story, if you take the time to read it, I'm sure you will find them. If I have some more time, I'll post some ...

My parents think that I am too old to go Trick-or-Treating, but I showed 'em...hehehe.

I enjoyed reading it. The beggining springs at me; so I liked it. A lot of Capital-ized Words makes It seem something Special is going on With those words. You ...

I loved it. I can't wait to read more of this story. I just thought that the different language seemed awkward (i agree with silverstar, esentially). Wait, writing a critic ...

It's funny. I like it... However, the meter in your poem is slightly unbalanced, so try working on that.