hunter111

Hmmm... that's quite an intresting story you got their; i'm quite impressed. You've got quite a good pace and you've really given an indepth descrpition of the main characters personality. ...

Nice, that was quite a well written poem but I can see what you mean about having problems with it's flow. Firstly, in your second stanza you repeated the word ...

geez, not much that I can say here, since all your mistakes have been bascially covered. Of course, i'm not exactly complaining. Anyway, for the mistakes that haven't been mentioned ...

Very nice story. I'll admit, at first it seemed it a little bit shaky, but you seemed to get better the further your story progressed. For example, your puncutation could ...