hunter111

Hmmm... that's quite an intresting story you got their; i'm quite impressed. You've got quite a good pace and you've really given an indepth descrpition of the main characters personality. ...

That's a pretty good poem you got their, but as said before your punctuation and rhyming scheme is a bit off. Still, you definetly capture the emotions of the poem ...

Nice, that was quite a well written poem but I can see what you mean about having problems with it's flow. Firstly, in your second stanza you repeated the word ...

Tall trees rise up, Atop the barren woodland floor. Trees filled with life, Trees filled with death. Green, red and gold, The colour of their leaves, In the shifting moonlight ...

Marmite is the pig that I mentioned before and in the end he only falls off the cliff since Arthur, his owner, needs to do that in order to save ...

lol, I had forgotten that I had even written this until today. Anyway, this one comes from David Eggers short stories, 'To the point of breaking, the rope was stretched.' ...

There, the improvements are finished so it should be a much better read. Thanks for the crit Sureal; i never would have realized that their was so many mistakes in ...

Well, that's the third and final story from my coursework; now i've just got the poems left. Since we had to write under a five hundred word limit I kind ...

“Get out of here you damned pests!” Glancing up momentarily as the sound of screams pierced the peaceful air of the housing estate, passer’s-by’s could only just shake their head ...

I wasn't entirely sure where to place this at first but I decided to put in fantasy section as it is quite unrealistic in the end. Anyway, this story plays ...

Jesus... my last post was over four weeks ago? Man, I really need to get my ass in gear and stop playing games all the time... ___________ Taking a few ...

With the sound of the last flash of lightning distantly rumbling in the background, Mark could only shake his head in disbelief as the boat pulled up to the shore, ...

Thanks SeraphTree, your actually the second person to give me a real review for my story so far. And i see your point about my switching viewpoints suddenly; i've always ...

While I don't own a wii and this may sound completely hypocritical... mabye you just need to do more exercise?

yeah, I liked the games alot, the battle system for the second one was great and I liked the most of the characters in the game. However, I found the ...