horrendous

yeah i noticed the ambiguity of that pronoun soon after submitting the piece. i'll fix it in the second draft. i'm glad you enjoyed the piece, thanks for the review.

sieging, i meamt to type sieging. oh well, another error to fix in the second draft. as for the way i change perspective, i learned that method from reading Stephen ...

thanks for the nitpicks, i miss a lot in editing. i'm glad my story didn't bore you heh. thanks for the review.

thanks for the nitpicks, i'll be sure to fix those in the next draft. and i see yiur point about sudden POV changes, i'll be sure to add more description ...

thanks so much for the great review. have you read the previous chapter? i love it when people give me nitpicks, it helps me find errors i miss in editing. ...

i know it :D

thanks a lot for pointing out all the errors, i usually miss a lot in editing. i'll fix it in the next draft. as for your comment on imagery, thank ...

even filler can shed light on a character. i like to see how characters act and speak even in mundane situations, because it grows the character. also, something like "They ...

wow, thanks so much. parts 1 and 2 of chapter 1 are also posted on this site if you're interested. thanks for the kind review!

these are all great suggestions and i'll take them to heart as i continue writing. thanks!

hey thanks so much for the in depth review. i'll take everything into consideration. couple points: I envisioned Nathan's flaw as being his temper. He's not cruel, but when he ...

thanks for pointing out those asterisks, i used them to mark words that needed to be italicized. i write on a notepad app on my phone which doesn't have the ...

you may have to face the reality that the sicker stuff in this novel will throw people who don't appreciate the finer points off. it's already been proven by someone ...

hey, glad you liked this one more. don't worry about any more dream sequences. i'm going to end this story before it turns into a novel. i have a problem ...

heya! i'm glad you pointed out the overuse of adjectives, i used a grotesquely large number (hurr). i'll have to reign myself in a bit in the future. and yeah, ...