hi-mi-tsu

The lack of capitals kinda deterred from the whole poem. It was all right, I suppose...just didn't really do anything for me.

Words on lined paper Blur Tears burn their acidweet trail Down the toocold skin Of my face Why is the toocold skin Burning With the hot embarassment Heat flooding heartheadface ...

Wow. That was...fascinatingly random and nonsensical. A rather pleasant deviation from serious poetry.

thanks for the comments. It's very difficult for me to see the weaknesses in my work, as a lot of it is somewhat (or almost all) based on strong emotions ...

I can't recall the authors right now, but here's some: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime-this book is written from the perspective of an autistic boy and ...

I like this. I like the parenthetical references, it makes it sound really awesome. This is supurb.

I like this. There's just a few things I have a problem with. Sub human, my beautiful black widow. To me, this break kinda destroys the flow you had going ...

I liked the piece, but I agree with filmcanister in that there has to be some logic to your strung-together words. Otherwise it looks like they were forced or randomly ...

The wind caresses the leaves from the trees And I watch them fall, willingly Bending in the force of the wind. If I were to bend to your desire, Would ...

thanks. Look me up in poetry. I'll be posting a lot of stuff there.

Blarg. Word. So annoying but still one of the more decent programs out there for editing purposes. The whole grammar thing pisses me off, though...when you're writing a frigging poem ...

Well...I've wanted to be a pediatrician since I was about nine years old. I love kids and I hate seeing people in pain...besides, pediatricians are becoming scarce nowadays due to ...

I stand and stare at them as if they were, Something of importance to me. This line break feels wrong to me. I don't know. Perhaps it could be fixed ...

This poem seems rather confusing to me and I don't really like the last "He". It seems to be randomly placed without any real purpose at the bottom. The poem ...

This poem had a lot of interesting imagery in it, but when you put the words together it seemed to be a forced jusxtaposition, like you were trying to meet ...