hevc

i guess it really comes down to preference. you have to remember that any writer of talent will attempt to reflect meaning or mood in syntax, and what you suggest ...

nope.

The sand was grey in that shadowy evening, and as we walked, our footsteps were wiped clean by the rushing waves; the breakers hurling themselves with suicidal conviction and vindication ...

i have just a few complaints (all spelling errors aside): 1. She had lost her best friend, next-door-neighbor and study-buddy in one clean sweet. Ut was hard to walk by ...

You're only sixteen? yes,...and i wrote this about a year and a half ago. it just never got the editing it needed. In fact, also through the entire piece, you ...

My only complaint would be the format. Could you double space between parapraphs and dialogue? It would make it ten times easier to read. You should defintely think about spaces ...

i wanted to do give you a detailed crit, so here i go: She was aware of him. Since before she could remember she had known him, and now he ...

influenced, as ever, by my good friend bob.

I have a few more (Yay! Being czech rules!): -No matter what you eat, you still hold on to your 'birthing hips'. -You burn sitting in front of a window ...

(that is the spelling, yes?) almost :wink: thanks for the friendly welcome.

sounds good.

i'm hevc, and i'll be sticking around.

Michaux sat and wrote. “You look terrible.” Blunt though this statement was, it had no visible effect on him; he still stared vaguely away into empty introspection and malleable shadow; ...

This did seem a bit disjointed, I'll admit. Also fairly short, so difficult for you to get into any real development. Something to build on for the future perhaps?

There were some interesting parts in this. Particularly: It was as though the subway brought out the best in each and every one of these women, but no matter what ...