hamerkid2

it's interesting. i haven't read too many poems set up like this one. the flow is good and the message is clear. keep up the good work

thanks tucker and butterflyink, I'll consider them.

thanks tnme22, I'll consider them. i like the suggestion of taking an old name and spelling it differently.

Yeah I've been working on my novel "Moving on for almost three years. it may never be finished

I like the names and the title but the character's return happens at the end of the story because during the story she thinks of her family a lot. I ...

yeah i was thinking of changing it to a newer name, not tough, but still unusual.

thanks for the replies but as i said before, having a title keeps me on track. It helps keep my stories from trailing off. That's the way I write Title ...

I met a few of the girls from the USA olympic softball team when i went to one of their games this year.

yeah i should begin to write it first but i keep on track if i have a title to follow by, it's just the way i write, so thanks for ...

alright before i tried to get help to find a title and i got a little help from those who weren't telling me to write first. they inspired a title ...

I enjoyed it. The i liked the standerd 1 2,1 2 3 4,3 4 pattern and the way it flowed. They can show your youth, Or tell your old age. ...

no i haven't. what is it called?

it reads as though you just pounded the key board then added a few word. Half of it i couldn't understand because it was misspelled or you were using some ...

I liked it. I like how the character admit's their mistakes (because we all know 99.99 percent of people don't admit theirs'.) I wouldn't change the length at all because ...

I kind of see what you are trying to say, but the subject is bland. Maybe change the style and add on to it and it would actually be a ...