gyrfalcon

Revised and updated. All comments are very much appreciated!

Hey there! :) Ahhh, this was nice, being able to read one of your great vignettes without spotting a single glaring mistake (could this be because half a dozen others ...

Her fingers rest upon those demon keys: Black and White entwine in death’s embrace. Everywhere else you're very consistent with your capitalization, but here "Black" needs to begin lower-cased, as ...

He heard the hoofbeats long before the origin was visible. Maybe this is just me, but I’d chose “source” over “origin”—it almost sounds like you’re talking about the origin of ...

his human features became a black-scaled fish’s tail. Their eyes looked at each other and held the same emotion; sadness. This would seem to literally indicate that his face turned ...

I just had to take this opportunity to thank you, all of you, for your wonderful help and encouragement on this piece--it's officially going to be published in my university's ...

a conscious thing on their part , but all of them part It is that old mark, almost as old as time itself; literally. Definitely make "literally" it's own sentence. ...

Hello, darling! It looks like you've already got a lot of line-by-lines, so I'll confine myself to general comments. In truth, it looks and feels a lot like Raven's story--is ...

Overall, a lovely piece, darling, but there are a few places I think you could trim a bit and it might make the poem tighter, a little more sleek and ...

- - - Thank you all for your input! Since I'm currently shopping this story around at different literary magazines, I thought it prudent to remove it from this site. ...

Haha! This is delightful, darling! I've never seen anything quite like it--and to find something unique is a rarity for me. It's refreshing to see someone having so much fun ...

*bewildered* "Um, uh, well..." ~Tannar "Yes. Without hesitation." ~Danteel "You liar. You'd never do that if the person you had to hurt was alien, and people you'd save were human. ...

I'll drink to that. *takes hand*

instead lays the hand on her back. It’s cold against her skin and she shies away from his touch, Should we assume then that her back is bare? and how ...

A beautiful piece, darling--your imagery was sublime and your word choice delightfully simple (I mean that in the most complimentary way possible, I generally abhor flowery language in poetry). As ...