Random avatar

franz6767

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: What Happened a poem about today's lazy society

    I agree with the What Happened comment above, b/c it made it longer, when some of it seems to be unnecessary repetition, meaning the repetition didn't convey that emotional impact ...

    Jun 9, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: A Burning Cigarette / I have judged

    I thought the flow of the poem was okay, and the idea was good, but I felt you could have written it a lot better. "I watch as the stub ...

    Jan 31, 2009
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Sugar-Coated Syringe

    "This room wasn’t giving me time." This line didn't fit in well to me "For many moments I lay, Eyes shut so tight That I couldn’t even feel The pain. ...

    Jan 21, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Foundation: False

    A little fact of life went wrong, A little fact, but its grip was strong. There were two stanzas that I thought killed the overall flow of the poem this ...

    Jan 21, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Less Hope, More Faith [Edited]

    Don't look back; don't tarry dear, you have no need to weep or fear the winged beasts of dark and gloom who close the hinges of your tomb. This stanza ...

    Jan 21, 2009


In the past I would definitely say who you would find inside. Not so much today. Place is bonkers …. As is everywhere
— Greg Specter