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fothi

  • Short Story » General, General Re: How I Saved James

    This was so much fun to read! I looked like a mutant parrot. I love this comparison. Great comic relief. Really appreciated and enjoyed the establishment of the characters as ...

    Aug 3, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: All Babies Are Blessings (3)

    Hey there! I thought the plot was very solid, and the characters were both believable and realistic. Good job! I only found small grammatical things that I want to point ...

    Aug 3, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: The Pajama Plight (obviously, working title) part 1

    I didn't really see anything wrong with the structure or the grammar (any big problems). I mean, in all honesty, it lacked the bit of original style that I think ...

    Aug 9, 2007
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Expect the Unexpected

    This was nice. It moved along pretty nicely. From my interpretation of the story, it seems that the Marquis is a bit of a joker and Ellen lacks so much ...

    Aug 8, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Relics: Chapter Two

    Hm... I think that you have a very, very appealing and intriguing idea here. I just wished you had done two things, mostly... 1) Introduced it earlier I think that ...

    Aug 8, 2007
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Masquerade That Never Ends

    This was nice... I only had a problem with flow and word choice in some areas (sort of), but I made note of those... "Every ending seems to be another ...

    Aug 7, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Whispers of the Fallen - Chapter One, Part 2

    It was nice.. I felt like it was a bit too short, honestly. It got a little bit accomplished, but I feel like you could have included at least part ...

    Aug 7, 2007
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Dr. Weisberg

    Wow, I'm not lying in the slightest when I say that I absolutely loved it. For many reasons. I understand you're from Israel? I've been in the United States all ...

    Aug 7, 2007
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Unexpected

    I do like the idea, actually. I don't know if I'm crazy about the introduction (I think maybe the theme should reveal itself inside of the story instead), but I ...

    Aug 6, 2007
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: I am the Messiah!

    So wonderful. Can't say I didn't love it because I did. I liked the beginning and the middle the best, I must say. Such a wonderful, interesting concept and how ...

    Aug 6, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Whispers of the Fallen - Chapter One, Part 1

    I really, really loved this. Not just because it's well-written, but i think I just like your writing style, as well. I thought the imagery and just general descriptions fit ...

    Aug 6, 2007
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Don't take me back.

    This has the potential to be really powerful. I love the concept. It's very well-written. This would require a great amount of editing, but I think that I have a ...

    Aug 6, 2007
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Chicken Fried Rice

    The character development was okay, but even though I feel that I know Jon a bit, he still seems a bit flat? I'm not sure of the word I'm looking ...

    Aug 6, 2007
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Accused

    I thought this was awesome. I liked the idea and I thought it was really interesting and engaging. And I agree, Pavel doesn't 'come out' quite as much as I ...

    Aug 5, 2007
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Borderline

    Wow, i feel really bad for that guy. Is this for a contest ( wondering because of the word 'entry' in the description )? Why is this all happening to ...

    Aug 5, 2007


Some call me a legacy, others call me a hero. But I assure you, dear admirers, I am only human.
— Persistence