fatimachan

A high A jolt Riveting excitement But only for a few moments After its over The feeling: dissolves Replacement: un-satisfaction Regret, Disgust Lingering, Wallowing Waiting for it to ware off ...

i love Rasulullah! :D the people did find in him a hero, good job. ;)

love the first stanza, a great start! but in the second stanza i agree with nightowl, the word "crappy" sounded kind of odd... like, comedic when it wasn't supposed to. ...

Hey there! I read this beautiful poem and only one " nit-pick"(lol first time using that word) stuck out to me. Her pain [s]was[/s] locked behind the empty shell of ...

found one oddity I didn't know who had called the ambulance but whoever it was were not in my good books. I think there should be a comma after ambulance ...

hehe, i was wondering if the concept was clear enough, and now i guess it wasnt! i need to work on that... aww, lol so sorry to put you in ...

Surroundings Surreal I feel as if I am being enveloped by a dark abyss The contents of my stomach pitfall into the depths of a bottomless pit The atmosphere is ...

oh and to ofir about the ending sentence, yeah i see what your getting at, "I didn't care what the reason was I just wish I knew what it was." ...

Their true, at least some of the time anyways. How would I know? I was one of those babies. the "how would i know?" seems sort of cliche to me. ...

"Is that her?" you write this twice at the beginning. Which confuses me for some reason. are we supposed to know her? or be looking for someone in the forest ...

on the down side: I think you might have repeated words a little too much. and it seemed to be repetitive. But there was also good repetition, like the repetition ...

*GASP!* not all football players are stupid popular people who pick on people who read! lol cheerleaders? ehem... *no comment* lol@ "red meat is horrid"

wow. just wow! This poem is just great. I think many people could relate to this. That feeling of never able to succeed, or never being accepted, or not being ...

throughout the whole bit i only caught one mistake. "I've always wanted to become a nudist. Those people who are just look so open, and free, and it seems like ...

@Meep Yeah I noticed the Y missing at the end of "ever" also. And there were a couple other words that had missing letters, but I cant seem to find ...