fallenangel

Ha ha thanks guys. I appreciate the advice and editing options. This has kind of been a first for me on poetry, so obviously I've got a few things to ...

This poem was sickeningly good. I loved it! I love the metaphors and comparisons, at first it caught me offguard and I had to read it again... I really like ...

Henry never expected or anticipated what happened that year at soccer camp. Mary had finally become a closer friend to him. She had utterly abandoned the childish attractions she had ...

...WOW. That was so good! I really liked it a lot. I really couldn't stop reading, and I'm honestly annoyed it ended that way. I want to find out what ...

.......sigh....... I loved it!!!! I really feel like you captured a moment that enthralls the reader the most. Emotion is a hard thing to just write, and what you've expressed ...

This is the first work of yours I've had the opportunity to read, and I must say I liked it very much :) Even though I haven't read the beginning ...

I lost my lip gloss It's a hostage you see, An ugly old toad stole it from me. I mean that in the most literal sense, He hopped out of ...

This is good, but it could be better :) Honestly, you've got a really good start, I really like your comparisons with the sky...the ground, etc... but I've got to ...

Fabulous job! I really enjoyed reading that, except for one little tiny thing... [quote] She turned to see who had been so compassionate. Her eyes widened with surprise when she ...

The fire crackled sharply and cast red shadows across our faces. The heat from the fire only gave warmth to the front of our bodies, so naturally, I was still ...

Wow, great job! I really enjoyed that. I think your main issues are formatting and perhaps a little confusion in the flow. The writing seems a little informal, perhaps you ...

“I need to talk to you,” he said quietly, stealing my soccer ball from my hands. I grinned, stealing it back. “Right,” I said spinning it in my hands before ...

I think you've got a pretty thing going here, there's just a few problems with rhythm, try making it flow a little more. I also think that you could work ...

That's a cute poem! I really enjoyed it. The style reminded me immediately of Shel Silverstein's works. It was very entertaining and the imagery was fun. Perhaps you could fix ...

Wow, fabulous job. I really enjoyed that, kind of reminded me of The Notebook--only flipped. Your style of writing is great, it put a strong image in my mind. The ...