eurobeat_faerie

I think the biggest mistake you made was narrating this in the first person. The way the narrator describes the events is too tame and clinical. If you were about ...

When you said this was going to be like The Phantom of the Opera , The Count of Monte Cristo , and Wuthering Heights , I didn't know that you ...

I'm a bit iffy about whether or not I like this, for reasons I just can't put my finger on. The first part was enjoyable, barring this phrase: twirling my ...

If this was a book, it would be one I would definitely read. This a good beginning, you lay down setting, character, and a hint of plot. The only thing ...

Before I had even finished the first paragraph, I knew that I was not going to like this story. You seem to have fallen into the trap few teenage writers ...

wasn't really a story. It was a scene. A rather static scene. We learned that a child had been abducted and that her family had been torn apart by it. ...

The plot has potential, but you're following cliche. I could predict what was going to happen at the very beginning, and you didn't fail to deliver with my preconceived plotline. ...

I can't help thinking that this would make a great radio program on PRI or BBC. I haven't read the other installments of Foe-Be-Gone, but I want to, meaning I've ...

I liked it. I've always had a soft spot for rhyming poems. The poem describes the events succinctly with crystal clarity and I could relate to it even though I ...

Have you ever been in a situation where your friend was telling you a funny story about something that happened to her that you didn't really find funny, saying "You ...

The idea for this is pretty interesting, but you're going too fast. The whole thing seems rather disjointed to me, it could stand a lot of ironing out. On the ...

Wow. I enjoyed that very much. It reads like the NY Times Bestseller you pick up at Books-A-Million simply because the little sign poking out of the table reads 'New ...

The prologue gives a hint of something exciting, but that wasn't matched fully by the first part. The first paragraph was pure exposition, and personally, I don't like all the ...