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Re: The Army (BVB)
I have to ask... are you a 30 Seconds To Mars fan? This whole poem made me think of their latest album (especially the last stanza.) I really liked this, ...
Sep 7, 2010 -
Re: My Pencil
This was cute! Fun and clever and happy-making. And I can definitely identify with the whole theme of pencils running away from me. :P nice one!
Sep 7, 2010 -
Re: A Cautionary Tale... (Info-dumping)
What. The f***. I have to admit, I found it the crazy nonsensical babbling quite funny, until it turned into a graphic stabbing scene. Maybe I'm missing the point about ...
Sep 7, 2010 -
Re: I Must Have Missed the Important Part
Uhh... Liked it.
Aug 31, 2010 -
Re: You Wanna Try That Again?
Haha! This was cute, and actually quite funny. And sweet. And just the right length. (Today, I'm easily pleased :D Not that this wouldn't please me on another, just... Oh, ...
Aug 30, 2010 -
Re: Daughter
Can I just say I disagree with almost everyone? This didn't need capitals. It's good how it is. The rhyming of 'lip' and 'dip' does sound forced. Also, I didn't ...
Aug 28, 2010 -
Re: Island in the Sky
Oh, wow. Wowwowwowwowwowwow... just WOW. I love your style of writing. I loved your original idea. I loved LYLE, I loved Margaret, I loved RAY. I don't think it needs ...
Aug 28, 2010 -
Re: Aimée (2)
I did this in like ten minutes (the original just wasn't working and I was desperate to replace it) so feel free to tear it to pieces! The girl walked ...
Aug 28, 2010 -
Re: Aimée
The girl screamed into the gag as the knife shot through the scratchy fabric millimetres from her face. A pair of tanned, muscular hands made their way into the hole ...
Aug 28, 2010 -
Re: Light and Darkness
I loved the idea. Didn't love much else about it though. :( Stop misusing commas! There was a white bull, so full of hatred and rage, his name was Darkness, ...
Aug 28, 2010 -
Re: Are You Afraid of the Dark?
This was kinda... Short. That's one word for it. If you're not planning to develop this into a novel or something (that's what I thought it was at first), make ...
Aug 28, 2010 -
Re: The Forgottens-Episode 1-Part one
Wow. Just... Wow. Amazing idea, by the way. I agree with Snoink, build up lots of suspense THEN bring in the dragon. And add more description. And this annoyed me ...
Aug 27, 2010 -
Re: Regret Letters (formally know as Eliza and Morgan)
I read the other version, and I definitely like this one better. It has more description, and a lot more emotion. Hopefully in the rest of the story we'll learn ...
Aug 27, 2010 -
Re: untitled- this piece needs critique! very badly!
I hate to be a nitpicker, but please fix the spelling and grammar. I found it almost impossible to read. It sounds like you have a good idea, but there's ...
Aug 27, 2010 -
Re: I Wish I Could Tell You
It's writing like this that make me want a dog. I think you got all the emotions down perfectly. Usually I don't like the whole anthropomorphism angle, but this was ...
Aug 26, 2010
