elijah1

Ah, thanks for the reviews. the way you wrote things over again also made it a little confusing Darn. With this piece, I was trying to write in both first ...

If no one else comments, I won't bother posting part 2

For any other reviewers, any thoughts as to what might happen next? I get the thoughts that maybe we’re about to have a crisis. This is helpful to know. ----- ...

Thank you, both of you, for the comments. Yeah, I did overdo the repetition in some parts. Hmm... the speech probably could be improved. Any more comments? Overall, I feel ...

Ah, wow Thanks for the comments everyone I think I'm going to have the character be thinking 'of course not, she has no eyes.' And yes, eventually I'll change the ...

Here it is, the rest of the critique: “Now you wished to know what I want from you.” This is slightly awkward. I'd reword it or take it out. Something ...

Hello again. I've critiqued half of this so far. Here is half of the critique: What do you want from me?!” You don't need the multiple punctuation. This isn't a ...

Oh wow. Thanks for the critique and the comments. His leg slid, he fell, and he ended up kneeling before a specific tombstone. I just realized... I used two tenses ...

Thanks for all the comments. (For those of you who liked it, more stories are coming). LydiaB, if you ever read this message, thanks for the critique. I think I ...

Hello, I'm here with the rest of my critique. “Do I frighten you?" Tom was able to speak after swallowing a few times, “Who are you?” “Your Guardian Angel.” After ...