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“Of course yes. But does that mean you have to shout waking up everyone .” She was tired of my work habits. That didn't sound quite...natural... maybe change the order ...

Thanks kitty, although there are some things I slightly disagree with. I do agree that I needed to add more character description. My next chapters are getting better... However, Bob's ...

I had been searching for a good online writer's community for ages. Finally I asked around, my friends on other websites, Q&A sites, and a few suggested here. I checked ...

That was amazing! The rythym flowed well through the whole thing and what rhymes there were seemed very natural. It was slightly depressing, but it was an eye opener as ...

I have to agree with BenFranks, it was a really amazing poem after, but those first lines seemed to be slightly corny... I loved it overall though! I love most ...

I really need somebody to review at leaste chapter 2 for my novel. Chapter 3 was finished shortly after, so I posted them in the same topic. The 3rd chapter ...

I thought that overall it was very good! There are a few sentences which could be reconstructed. There's also too much details in some spots and too little in others... ...

Oh.. I just realized that a word in the 'spoiler' is covered up. I don't know if it will do that for you, but for me the "like" button and ...

The way your eyes dress your mysterious past. I love your beating heart and your ever-ticking pulse, Those were amazing lines! [="BenFranks"] You just make all my pain stop, So ...

This was a good poem! I don't have much to critique, it was pretty amazing! Although you spelt tones , I think you meant tons That's all I have to ...

Never one from another, always a pair, and never a single. For this all I have to say is that the last bit sounded a tad awkward. I don't really ...

Sigh, shout, song, noise of a passing car, voice, echo, quiver I just thought that noise of a passing car placed before voice, echo, quiver, didn't mesh quite right. It ...

For example: Twelve is I'm in love but I'm undreamed of .

awesome! thanks :D :elephant:

This was really good! A few of the lines broke the rythym at first, but after you kept reading they all sort of clicked! Very creative work, and I can ...