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MECKIAH "No- no I'm sorry. It's just that you looks so much like somebody I lost," I swallowed. Everybody was staring at me like I was some sort of alien. ...

MECKIAH I ignored the boy's story completely. He looked like...he looked like Seth! Seth, my long lost love! My eyes widened and my body tremled violently. "You-you remind me of ...

Alright! Time to start! AnnaRose They had been wandering around the forest aimlessly for what seemed like hours. Glancing at Han she knew they couldn't stop and go back. She ...

MECKIAH I heard the commotion outside and stopped crying. I wiped my eyes quickly and grabbed my sword, exiting the tent. What had just happened? Had somebody just come into ...

I didn't know how long I had been asleep. The sun was casting a small ammount of light through the tent walls, so it must be late afternoon...or early morning ...

You know the drill soldier! Corrections, comments&suggestion in red! Let's go! .... Anywho... Chapter II – Detour “...mitri.” Came the soft whisper; a silver bell’s chime. Loved this! “Dmitr

It's been revised and the pesky numbers taken out ;) I still need a few pointers though...One day I plan on getting enough of this revised and done so that ...

It has been revised! I still need tips, tips, tips and more tips!

Apple's going to play as a child too! (Thankyou Apple!!) After she has time to post her profile, we can start!

Okay, revisions have been made. Is there anything awkward about them?

It's been revised, but I still need some suggestions!

Alright, I've revised it. Does anybody else have anything they'd like to add? If I ever plan on getting it published, I'm going to need help with my stilted dialogue. ...

Thanks! The review really helped! I do however, have to say one thing. When you said "There are a hudndred way to kill a man with your bare hands.....".. The ...

Understood and being applied. I seemed to notice that I was doing alright up until chapter 3. Things started getting rockier there... I'm fixing things up on OpenOffice now. I ...

Done! Anybody else? (I really loved that last one!)