eddykins

I definitely agree about the accent, and I kind of think that this opening is a bit too much of an infodump. I understand she's introducing herself, but maybe you ...

I didn't find anything wrong with the tenses, personally. C: I really like your sense of prose (that's something I'm struggling with a little bit myself, personally) and how you ...

I have to say I'm really not a big fan of breakup angst, but this was handled well. Cricket has a strong character voice and her reaction to Austin was ...

This has tons of potential and a very interesting setup - I haven't read the other four chapters and just stumbled on this at the YWS homepage - so I'm ...

And I want him to snap pretty hard. My character is part of a group of teenagers who are basically playing "hero" (most of them having quite noble intentions, with ...

It was a hot evening. The air was warm where they were, cramped up within the trees of this elaborate, wealthy place. It congested around them in their large group, ...

Yeah, sorry if I'm totally bugging you guys with questions, but this is totally relevant. :'D My friend and I are doing a very character-heavy, chapter-heavy piece that's meant to ...

I recently ran into this off-site with someone's writing - in their case, they used fashion jargon to describe a piece of jewelry. It flew right over my head so ...

Hi Eddykins, I'm peanut. I can tell you're new here so welcome to YWS. This is the right forums so don't worry. When you are writing, it's important to get ...

I've been working diligently on this profile for an OC of mine - and it's pushing four pages. Four pages ! I feel incredibly nerdy, and I realize that a ...

Aha! This was very cute and amusing. I enjoyed it a lot. While I do agree it was predictable, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, and I don't have anything ...

Hello~. Your little preface caught my eye pretty quickly, so that's always a good sign. Overall, I don't have much to nitpick, but I always have trouble nitpicking original fiction. ...

I wrote my first story when I was four - but I really just dictated it to my mom and she wrote it down. I actually wrote something by myself ...

Could you please look at Moonlight for me? It's of the Other Fiction category. Thank you so much and congrats on the feature.

This took me two days to finish. What I'd really like is critique on characterization and prose. This is pretty much my first time portraying Iris and Arion interacting, since ...