I was born back in the year of 1875 at a hospital in the deep jungles of Antarctica. I grew up in a household of 16, featuring my 9 brothers and 5 sisters and my mother and father. I went to school in Japan every nine or so years until I hit the ripe old age of 4 months, when I ran away to a circus in Toronto, USA, where I published a book called "The Adventures of Fuckleberry Hinn" that sold 12 copies in total, making me a gazillionaire. I married Jennifer Lawrence at age 73 and we became the most loved and know lesbian couple of all history. We had one child, who was secretly an antelope from Middle Earth that we named Your Mom. I died at age 54 1/3 years old and rode a unicorn all the way to Hell.
