draolatch

Let's start with the good. I love the way you represent the characters accents, such as "The Captain-yer father...he'll be back. This was the spot,". You also introduce the emotions ...

I love the symbolism. I could totally feel the emotion pouring through each stanza! I can tell you're a very talented poet. One thing I would change is the line ...

A very good poem! I like the way the plot drifts, especially the strong imagery you use. The repetition felt a bit... lazy, though. My suggestion is, try to make ...