deleted_5

Hi, I liked your story plot, but there are some things you might want to look over. Some of your spelling makes me think that I am doing one of ...

Well, that was quite a read. Although, one thing you might want to fix is adding the last letter on words. For example: She peers out from the open window ...

I agree, this doesn't really belong in action fiction. First thing I'd like to draw your attention to, punctuation. I know Sakura has said this, but you do need to ...

Most of the things needed to be changed were already said. But I can say that this story is not bad! You pace it very well and your descriptions are ...

I agree, you should keep on writing this. It's sounds really good. Bravo. :smt038 But, with good stories comes good edits, so, here we go. We had planned it, and ...

HI, I'm not normally this harsh, but you're gonna get a harsh critique from me! Sorry! Okay first of all, I want to take you to the beginning sentences; It ...

Okay, I'm not the greatest at editing, but here goes! First of all, you do a lot of telling when you should be showing. I'm sure you've heard the saying: ...