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I do not get the line structure. It has no form or meaning to it, but yet you space them with some unknown measure. While the poem itself is nice, ...

Is this a joke? If not this horrible work belongs in another forum, this is poetry, not fiction.

Good point! You'll see in the next bit about that, if I can post this up instead of FEC. Sae is really neuter until it takes on a human form, ...

Sure if its the 1700's. If a murder is committed the person is held until military trial. The captain no longer has such right to execute a person based on ...

Not bad but i agree with kittykat on this one try to work on your grammar. That is one big problem in writing. Trust me I know. Hope this helps! ...

Very detailed and nice, but you've opened up a lot of boringness in life, it seems like a lot of the words are there just to be there and not ...

Author's note: This is the first section of the town that I've put up. It has a completely different feel then the manor and I've tried my best to put ...

Interesting beginning, spacing would be a big plus. We really don't get an idea of the character and the use of 'I' and 'my neighborhood' is really a poor choice ...

A soft beep alerted Yuki to someone browsing the system and ejecting her data collection bot. With a smirk on her face she unleashed several of her tools that danced ...

Author's note: A really short scene! I'm terribly sorry, but the next one really drags on and on and I cannot split it. So please for readers like KittyKat: Enjoy ...

Yuki made her way past the guard sighing softly at their ill equipment as they checked her over, "Top brass sure has gotten cocky during peace. In the old days ...

Yuki Mamushito gazed at her laptop, scanning through a list of files at a blistering pace. A small set of wireless headphones hidden just under her long deep blue hair ...

Interesting beginning indeed. However the dream beginning doesn't work well, too cliche and some of the dialog irked me, but otherwise this is interesting and pretty good. I just wish ...

NAME: Yuki Mamushito RACE: Human AGE: 23 HEIGHT: 150 cm WEIGHT: 64 kg EYES: Blue HAIR: Dark Blue (Natural brown) PHYSIQUE: Slender RANK: Private BRANCH: Marine PRIMARY MILITARY SPECIALTY: Field ...

Author's Note: Came up with this whole concept over a month ago and its time to start production, so I give you my first draft piece in hopes that I'll ...