dawgwriter

I'll return the favor of your wonderful comments on my essay about Potter I did love that your tribute was more about how Harry helped and affected you and not ...

Interesting little short story you have going on here. I really like that you ventured into multiple voices and POVs, but just remember to be careful to keep them straight. ...

The first reviewer pretty much touched on all of the cosmetic issues, so I'll go a little deeper. First, if you do plan on writing this into a novel or ...

First off, I definitely prefer "Wizard's Thief" over "Magician's Thief", for what it's worth. Secondly, good job with the dialogue! I remember being and awful dialogue writer several years ago, ...

Wonderfully written and set; the story draws the reader in from the get go and doesn't give them time to let go or get out. By the time I was ...

What struck me first off the bat was your diction. You have an incredible way with words and command the language easily, yet with a depth that is very impressive. ...

What you've done here is accomplish two things that are extremely difficult, and even more son in such a short piece. You've grabbed my attention / generated my interest, and ...

Well, you seem to have plenty of feedback on Chapter 1, so I'll focus on this one. -As the others have said before me, get a title. Even if it's ...

[filled with childlike innocence.] - caught me as coming across as redundant, seeing as the character expressing this emotion is in fact a child. ["Honey..." her voice broke,"] - brilliantly ...

Your prose is well structured and visually descriptive. The reader does not have to work very hard to imagine one in the very scene you are depicting. The diction is ...