darko.demark666

Kalyug The skies darken[s],[/s] As the sun dies. Up in the heavens[s], [/s] The angels cry. The earth burns[s], [/s] In the flames of hell. This day would come, Who ...

Kalyug- doesn't say anything about what you are trying to tell the reader Spike explained that in this topic, look it up :arrow: "Well ancient hindu saints divided time into ...

I cannot pretend I love you, When you have chased me away . I cannot pretend I love you[s],[/s] For the day has yet to begin . You cannot pretend ...

Busy as a Bee A little boy taunted her with the treat As she strained and s t r a i n e d against the tether, Her every muscle ...

The path of life Its sometimes easy , Usually hard . You have two choices here: 1. Change its to it's (BTW, if you wanted to say that the path-IT ...

Lol...thanks for review, when I finish the poem, I'll PM you to review more-now you got to do that. Haha!

All the time spent for thee was wasted, you ugly bitch; hope you'll die before me, go to hell, you fucking witch. When you are choking, I'm the apple in ...

Oh, and fix punctuation.

Photographs placed in your mind from vivid imagery I read the rest of the poem and I don't know how this fits in the rest of this piece. This is ...

My friends seem to be walking away, Like leaves in winter, they appear to shed. Instead of lying on bed all day, I'd rather just be dead. The rhyme is ...

Hm. That's about it. Again, just see if any of my suggestions could enhance the quality of your poem. I hope you'll take some into consideration for merely the sake ...

Suffocating, drowning, unable to move. I'm dead; I should be numb. I'm wasting away in a make-shift coffin [s]aren't these supposed to be bug proof?[/s] This verse is rather uninteresting. ...

Yeah, all my reviewes are kinda harsh, but that's just me. There are many others who don't agree with me and that's fine.

'he' is a mystery, ... Thought so.

'he' is a mystery, I'll try improve it then. Thought so.