darko.demark666

This isn't a metal song for any of its elements...maybe new metal (crappy metal). Sure is aggressive but something just do not seems wright about it. It' strange... I have ...

Hey there, I find your poem really nice for its ....should I say atmosphere... You turned a regular, trivial cafe into something else. The metaphor is obvious here. Your struggle ...

First comes denial I spent a long time here Half a semester It felt more like a year The reader can find this too usual. Then, what does this have ...

A little girl by the sea Crying for all to see She always sat under the tree .. think this would be great with underneath the tree.. Wishing that one ...

Let not my heart be opened To the perils of the world, To the treachery of Romance no comma here And to sweet, deceitful words. First stanza...all good. Let my ...

It' seems a little pushy...don't you think? You could also correct punctuation at some places... Structure, ha? I like that last stanza more than the other ones. If you write ...

What did I do with that bold letters???? Arghhhhhhh....*dies*

WAITING FOR YOU The smell of rain reaches my heart i would put a period here. And the ongoing thoughts of you here without and Slip from the shadows. that ...

I saw the isn't something... I liked the game more

I'm going to their tribute band this Saturday.. They still rock...and they'll never stop...

I'm going to their tribute band this Saturday.. They still rock...and they'll never stop...

Yeah, metal rules...

I just said what I think. If you don't like it, ask someone else for opinion. Critiques are supposed to be rude sometimes...but not the writer.

OK. I didn't like it. It's pushy, boring, dull, uninteresting, without any significant thoughts... Sorry... Nobody didn't review your work yet so I gave a shot. If I were you ...

I think that I have already review one of your work today...and I am familiar with the style... So, in the 2nd and 3rd stanza you have a rhyme that ...