darko.demark666

Hatred rains in drops that scorch, Murder crawls in rivers that torch. Vengeance falls in flakes that choke, Pain pummels in rocks that smoke. Cruelty gathers in clouds that sting ...

Candle lit fires Walks in the park A carousel in the moonlight Sex on the beach doesn't fit well..the flow of the poem is hurt here. Dreams upon a mountain ...

welcome to YWS. The Lemon-Yellow Sun ... Bad idea to write your review in WORD. LOL... But I can tell you that I was looking for older works who haven't ...

Yeah, June said the same thing..haha..nevermind, thanks.. I'm fixing it at the moment...

Uhhh, nice one. You really connected the warm colors up close and cold ones far away in here... The trails are great...pure, symmetric... The only things that bothers me is ...

You couldn't know... thanks anyway..

where the finish line lies. Whaaaaaaaaaat? ;) The pain I had taken instead Of live and love, Not forsaken, Given as I am to Him! Well, this was too much ...

Instead of just allowing us to read through this smoothly, we have to like... piece together what the meaning of the word you're using is and we shouldn't have to, ...

This is a poem about a girl who wasn't even my girlfriend. I wanted to hook up with her but she talked about some friendship and stuff...liar... There was a ...

Welcome to YWS. I'll review your work (don't get mad about the honesty)..;) They said it wouldn’t last long, They said we are all wrong, They said we would be ...

Hi, I just have three things to say: 1 - This poem would be great with rhyme. Every last verse of every stanza just screams for rhyme... 2 - Last ...

You are confusing me... The punctuation is needed badly, but still you put it in some lines. Now you can say that this is poetic like others who are trying ...

Hi...welcome to Young writers society. Now on the critique... First - Punctuation needed. Second - 4th stanza: too long. It crashes your concept so far. You have to try to ...

Nice drawing... You could redecorate those margins cause they're just empty... The shading is good, but the one around the eye and at the end pf a face it too ...

Well...this is just a bunch of imperatives; sentences. If you put a comma somewhere, the poem would be better cause of connection that you make that way. Like in last ...