cooldude19967

Adding more to your story helped make it more understandable. For a prologue I think it's quite good, although admittedly I don't read horror. The line spoken as she is ...

I noticed alot of grammer things in there, and stuff that just didn't make sense, but it seams that you've already had that mentioned to you. I like the storyline, ...

I really liked the beggining, the imagery was awsome, but for the most part I'm with the rest on this one. It did sound alot like sex, and I didn't ...