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Hi. Trust me, if I could clear it out completely, I would. There was writing here previously, but I took it off because I wanted to rework it. I wasn't ...

Hi. Trust me, if I could clear it out completely, I would. There was writing here previously (an actual chapter), but I took it off because I wanted to rework ...

Hi. Trust me, if I could clear it out completely, I would. There was writing here previously, but I took it off because I wanted to rework it. I wasn't ...

Sorry, I also wanted to ask what parts did it seem not-so-realistic? Thanks again!

Feel free to point out anything that looks/sounds weird, or anything that needs revising, guys! Thanks!

Yeah, I have problems when it comes to descriptions. I always thinking I'm giving too much, and then I erase it. I see now that it's not a good idea ...

Thank you so very much for the feedback! I didn't expect it so quick, but that's exactly the sort I'm looking for, and more! I'm trying to make this the ...

Thank you for being my first reader (: and for the nice comment.

thanks for the help, penNpaper! i also thought that that sounded kind of weird, but waited to see if someone else thought so too. i changed it, and i hope ...

hello, esther! to tell you the truth, i was wondering if i did italicize a lot, and i wasn't sure. glad someone pointed it out for me, because i probably ...

thanks nyiiri. and thanks lovexpeacexrandomx3 for the pointing out, i'll be sure to revise. (:

thanks for the advice, everyone!

thanks for helping me! i really appreciated it(:!!

the plot, overall, is pretty good. i'd just revise this by using grammar properly. commas, apostrophes, colons-- that sort of stuff. just clean it up a bit, and it'll turn ...

his name made me giggle XD but i liked the story overall. i've checked out your other works, and i must say that you're really good(: