cocoboy

9/10 Ha, that's cool.

Hmm, very interesting. I think that the made up/hard to pronounce names and titles are a little overwhelming if you introduce them all in the first couple paragraphs. It didn't ...

Wow, this is a very interesting piece! I like the beginning and the ending a lot, but one thing I noticed is that you have very big paragraphs so it ...

Anyone like the name Jared? Or does anyone have it? That's what I'm considering, but I'm not sure... Yeah, that's the name I'm going to use for the first draft ...

Thanks everyone for all your great reviews! I'll write the 1st chapter soon. If your story takes place in the real world, then involving Shakespeare is okay, but if the ...

Yesterday I thought up an idea for a story, so I thought I would try writing a little. [s]I wrote what is either chapter 1 or the prologue, but I ...

Hmm, that is a very interesting idea. I'm not sure if I like that beginning that much, but it is perfectly fine if you do. There is just a few ...

Beach

Hmm. I like. Maybe you should show the main character through the beggining more. You could keep the same idea but describe through words more about him besides the fact ...

Wow, this is an amazing piece! You have a great idea, and you should defiantly continue with it! The writing has hardly any mistakes, and the only ones that I ...

this is my first posting, so feel free to comment! --- Breathing wasn’t an option. Neither was concentration. I couldn’t move any part of my body. The gorgeous stranger stalked ...

This is a good start to a story, but there are some errors. First of all, you have to capitalize several things such as this: we looked around. Also, you ...

This is a good start to a story, but there are some errors. First of all, you have to capitalize several things such as this: we looked around. Also, you ...

Okay, you need to change a lot here. First of all, capitalize some of those sentences! we looked around. The W should be capitalized. Second, the story is a little ...

Here is the first page of a new story I'm writing! I'm new here, so could I have help and a little critique please? Thank you! I remember my 9th ...