chocoholic

Very nice, very nice indeed. Not much went on, but I just really enjoyed reading this. There was... something about it that I really liked. There weren't any mistakes that ...

Hmm... I quite enjoyed that. It was interesting at the start, but I did get a bit bored near the end. I think there should be more conflict or something ...

Okay, your formatting was all weird again and it was very hard to read. You need to fix it up. Anything I say would really just be repeating myself from ...

That was very hard to read. Your formatting needs work. Not only have you not double-spaced, you've barely got paragraphs. Take a look at this: "Give it back you twerps!" ...

First of all, you need to change your formatting. It's weird. I found the dialouge very fake and unatural. Nobody I know actually talk like that or just say what ...

I like what you're writing, but I'm having trouble with the way you're writing it. A story like this is hard to pull off, and quite frankly, you're not doing ...

By cuisine, do you mean cousin? If you do, then we both have cousins on this site! How funny! The letter was sweet. I liked it. I was just wondering, ...

That was really good. But just one thing, please double space your writing. It's very annoying when people on the internet write single-spaced, because it can get very hard on ...

It's... good. I like what you're saying, I'm just not sure about how you're saying it. My heart pounds as I wait for his anger to lash out, Maybe, My ...

Well, I think this could be very good with a bit more work. I didn't think the dialiuge was natural, and I was confused as to who Kai and Ameyo ...

Nice. Interesting concept. A poem about cigarettes. It was short, but that's okay. I think you could use more description. It's a bit simple at the moment. Your language is ...

This was very well done. I liked the comparisons between Reese (I love that name!) and Sebastian. Reese's litter rant about 'humans' near the end was really cool, but I ...

Thank you for finally posting this! You don't know how long I've been waiting (actually, you do. It's ever since you posted part 12). I really liked it. M is ...

Okay, this was quite good. Not the greatest, but quite good. I didn't really understand the end. Isn't she who she says she is? I didn't get it. Your description ...

I didn't really think it was emo. And even if it wa,s I don't have a problem with emo poetry. It's what I tend to write, anyway. I can't say ...