captaindomdude

I wanted to wait until I read all the chapters before commenting, and now that I have, bravo. This is a very nice work. You keep the action going. You ...

I have to say that this is a very interesting work. I like the overall plot, it seems pretty original. I applaud you for one thing, there weren't that many ...

I remember what it's like to be a new writer, so I feel your pain. I can tell you that is a pretty decent start. Let's start with the technical ...

Once again, great work Para. You did an excellent job, and this story is coming out nicely. I have to say I was a little worried about the attack in ...

Well....I would like to say something nice here. That way I don't feel quite so....bad about telling you that this is really, really not that great. Let's start with your ...

A very nice story! You did really well with this, great job. The biggest thing I noticed was your progression, how natural it felt. A lot of times it's difficult ...

Well done on the story. It was elegantly told, you used the right language at mostly the right time, and it flowed very nicely. Actually, that's something I want to ...

Whoo! Once again, enjoying this piece. I love the Noir feel to it, It makes it a really entertaining read. That, and you aren't afraid to broach topics that are ...

I can't believe I missed this story until now. It seems really fascinating, you have such an interesting world here. However, I felt like your plot was...poorly delivered. I understand ...

Hey, still enjoying your work. It's light and easy, which is a welcome break. Really the only thing I saw here were some general technical errors. “His ringtone, Secrets. If ...

I enjoyed the change of pace this chapter brought. It really conveyed a very nice emotion to the piece, rather then dark hopelessness of the chapters before it, this one ...

An excellent work. You did works cited perfectly, grammar is excellent, everything technical about the essay was excellently done. You analyzed the work very nicely; I felt like I knew ...

As the person above said,there's a possibility here. I'll give you that. The most obvious thing about this is its length. This is not a chapter. This is a paragraph. ...

I like this. Normally when a fanfiction is written it's written with only one fan story. You've got like 7, 8?. It's a really good idea. I also like how ...

I will say I like the idea of the story, something involving hellhounds is interesting. I mean, normally hellhounds are simply demons people use as monsters to kill, so this ...