captain.classy

Hai there! Completely adorable. What I don't like about this is the slang you used. It's not typical for a writer to use things like 'slo-mo' in their stories. I ...

Pecan! So I agree with the first reviewer. Poems, as with stories, do have characters! Your narrators! Who is your narrator here? Do you know? It sounds like a child, ...

Intense! Hai there! I think this opens up a lot of thoughts to my mind, which is a good thing, of course. But at, the same time, I agree what ...

Hai there! This is so cute! Though, something irritates me about it. Maybe it's the obviousness of it. Everything is all planned out. Instead of saying specific jobs, can't you ...

Hai there! Nothing moved except the small gusts of air flowing through the valley. This is a bit awkward to me. I would say something like the small gusts made ...

Hai there! This was a wonderful poem. It has everything a person can relate to: love, hiding their true self, feeling ashamed. It's a wonderful poem and a pleasure to ...

Hai there! I have to say, once I read the title, I knew exactly what this was going to be about. But, you surprised me with your writing. This flowed ...

Next part it up :) I would appreciate all of your reviews.

Penetrating the Pale Horse (1) “Wake up,” a stern voice said, waking her from her slumber. “What?” she opened her eyes… but it didn’t seem like they were open. Her ...

Hai there! I really like the story in this poem. It really makes sense to me, and is something I can relate to. I liked how you didn't try to ...

Hai there! So I'm failing to realize the concept of this poem. I like the imagery, and your theme is nice, too. I don't, however, know how it possible relates ...

Both, done. :)

Chapter 1 It wasn’t fair. What had I done wrong? Did I upset her? I felt so confused. Redundant; repetitive. It already sounds like he's confused, there's no reason for ...

Hai! Here, as requested. I really like your main character. She had innocence to her, but was still sarcastic, like any teenager. She actually reminded me a bit of myself, ...

Hey there buddy! So I really liked this. Your sentences flowed well, and you explained everything perfectly, and not list-like, which I admire. There are so many unanswered questions; I ...