canislupis

Hello there! As others have mentioned, your pacing is admirable. I love the way you spaced the words out--it leaves breathing room while still keeping us moving. However, I'm going ...

Hi there! What I think this piece might benefit most from is a bit more structure. Right now I would write down an outline, just to give yourself a frame ...

Hi! So, this is in the short story section, but it seems more like the opening to something bigger. I'm not quite sure how to criqitue this. I liked your ...

Hi there! I haven't been active in a really long time, and I just saw your message. So, while I don't know whether you even remember asking for a review, ...

Hi ultraviolet! I looove reviewing things first. It makes me feel fast... and more important. Anyway, I still like your story. I think I'll go over what you wanted to ...

Hi! Sorry this took so long. Anyway, I decided to skip to the next part since I thought it would be more helpful to you. I'm also going to skip ...

Hi! First I have to apologize about how long this has taken—I promised to review all the contest pieces and saved yours for last, since I liked thinking about it. ...

lk, hai! this is totally amazing and I understood everything. wat was it about? Anyway, I am going to review this. I had a few line-by-line comments, so like the ...

Hi! First of all, sorry this took so long--internet connection (and computer access!) is a bit hard to come by here. Anyway, Azila has already said much of what I ...

Hi! Thanks for requesting a review. Sorry this took a while, by the way. I was off exploring the islands of lake titicaca. Anyway, I think Carbon already pointed out ...

Hello! Here to review, same as Azila. Congrats, BTW. I really love this piece. First, I'll admit I was just as confused as everyone else when I read it: No, ...

[Edit] Grr... Half my review got cut off. It keeps happening no matter how many times I try to post it, so I'm going to try posting only a section. ...

Hi there! First of all, thanks for entering the contest! Personally, I really liked this piece and it was really, really hard to pick. Anyway, I'll start with the good ...

Hi there! Lupis, here to review today. :D So, you've got some good ideas here--plenty of conflict (I like how you didn't drag the intro on forever) and I like ...

Hi! So, this was pretty bad. But it could be worse. For example, the conversation with the dragon is funny, but it drags on a bit. And I think you ...