brokestarvingwriter

One last chance to let you know how I feel One last chance to let it be real One last chance to shoot a smile your way One last chance ...

The children smiled as they gathered around their favorite grandpa, Grand Red, as he began to tell them a bed time story. Among I think it's awkward to write among ...

William Coleman was jerked out of his silent reverie by the shrill ring of the telephone. "Hello?" His voice cracked, rusty from disuse. He cleared his throat and tried again. ...

Hmmmmm... when I view it, it's broken into stanzas. Help???

Breathe In Breathe in, Breathe out It will all be okay Somewhere, somehow Somewhen, someday Your tears fall now But soon they will dry Although I don't know how And ...

Prose poetry is one long sentence without grammar or punctuation, usually about a childhood memory. So please don't tell me to fix my grammar! I wanted a pony but Mom ...

Great imagery! "Feilds" should be spelled "fields" and maybe instead of "skinny" a more descriptive word?

The assignment scribbled on the board seemed to be laughing at me, as I read with growing horror: one page of rhyming poetry. I told them I couldn't write a ...

A young boy, upon finding two leaves in the backyard, rushed inside, arms outstretched, holding one leaf in each hand. "I am a tree!" he exclaimed, hopping from foot to ...

would it detract from the story if I took out the "soon there was a treetop community" line to fix the rhyme scheme?

The rhyme and rhythm were very good, especially in the beginning, but then it starts to deteriorate. I would retain the rhyme scheme you had in the beginning, and carry ...

You should fix your grammar/spelling. Also, it sounds more like a diary entry than an actual polished piece. The emotion was good though- it felt very raw.

I love it! Very surprising, and I like the way the title foreshadows the end.

Grandma climbed a tree and refused to come down. She was tired of her kids always clowning around. She was sick of being ignored and being put down, so she ...

There were minor grammatical errors, and I really think you should take out the part that uses "gay" in a derogatory way. All in all, I liked it though. I ...