breannarh

Some of the action in here was certainly sort of hard to follow; a quick pace is good, but sometimes it seemed like the pace in here was just a ...

Thanks so much for the comment, ashjoy :) Yeah, that was definitely a huge portion of what I was trying to get across. So glad you enjoyed this then :)

For some reason the ~'s kind of distracted me just a little bit, but I'm sure that has more to do with me than the ~'s themselves. The only other ...

Ayer Sells had loomed large on this corner for twenty years. He’d stood here, and told them in the boldest language he could how they were all headed for hell, ...

The first thing I noticed was that you start out with the narrator on the bus and then, for some reason, a couple lines later he seems to be on ...

I think a lot of this could be made stronger if you took out the bits that are just statements and express them instead with imagery or symbolism of some ...

I think there's something wrong with me mentally because even though the poem held all the clues of being kind of a simple, child-like version of the London Bridge Is ...

While this certainly did sound interesting read out loud, I'm not sure that that's quite enough to make a poem. I have to be honest, and it might just be, ...

I really liked the consistency with the imagery. The fact that it was all space-related just kind of wove it together really tightly. I haven't read much poetry that actually ...