blonde&confused

When I cleaned the street on my knees, you kept away. When their spit rinsed my hair, you looked the other way. When they pinched my body, when my soul ...

Excellent poem with a very clear message and quite funny too. (at least i thought it was funny as you were obviously being ironic when you were calling your poetry ...

Hi just read your poem and thought I'd attempt a review. I liked your general idea and there were some really good lines such as the first two. Your rhythm ...

Hi just read your poem and thought i'd attempt a review. I liked your general idea and there were some really good lines such as the first two. Your rhythym ...

Hi, thank you all very much for your replies. I know you all said that i should lengthen it, but as it is supposed to be an epitaph (which is ...

Very vivid and quite horrific description (in a good way). I do think though that there doesn't seem to be much structure as to how you lay it out. That ...

When I cleaned the street on my knees, you kept away. When their spit rinsed my hair, you looked the other way. When they pinched my body, when my soul ...

Here lies my grave, where people will spit upon my name, I only did as i was told, i only followed orders, why am i the one to blame?

Wendy carefully closed the cabinet and walked to her room, leaving the bathroom as immaculate as it had been when she entered it. She stumbled towards her bedroom, barely conscious ...

I liked the general idea of your poem, but i think it needs a little work to make it perfect. One thing that could help is including some more punctuation ...

Hi, I love cats too, except my one is evil and queen of the evil glare. Welcome to YWS.

I thought it was well-written, but not really in the exact same style as J.K. Rowling. And if you're going to improve it (which i hope you will, as i ...

I thought that the odd rhyme and half-rhyme you had included worked very well. I do think though that the others are right about including more punctuation as that means ...

I liked the general idea of your poem and the first 2 lines were really good, it was just that your grammatical accuracy let you down. I'd suggest that you ...

I should hopefully add some more to it. Please tell me what you think. Wendy stumbled from the bathroom towards her bedroom, barely conscious of her surroundings as all of ...