bear

I think the best way to go about handling this poem -- the concept of lost love and betrayal is so rife with emotion it can always be used for ...

Hello! I found this lacking. I got nothing out of reading this. Poetry has the special ability to draw a unique emotional response. However, this elicited no emotional response. the ...

Hello! Matt Bellemy mentioned semi colons. I'll address those first. They are basically a conjunction and a comma; they combine two sentences (independent clauses) together without the extra words. No

I am going to be brutal. Consider it tough love, because this needs it. This is in a similar place as the other piece of yours that I reviewed today. ...

Hello again! I'm looking forward to getting to critique something all the way through its development as a piece of writing [bounces] Okay, on to the critique. Unfortunately, this wasn't ...

Hello! I usually don't stumble into the romance forum, but I figured, it is Romance Fiction week, so I may as well. and I stumbled into this. I agree with ...

Unfortunately I did not finish reading the first chapter. I couldn't. It wasn't engaging. Truth be told, as a reader I found it unbearably annoying. The reason I tell you ...

Hello, xoxo! My first bit of advice for this is to proof read. You have some grammatical typos and spelling mistakes that could easily be fixed by running it through ...

This has it's own value as an autobiographical account of girl-betrayal. However, as a piece of poetry it has a long way to go. It reads more like a diary ...

Hello! I think this poem shows potential, but it's not quite there yet. The major thing it's missing is imagery. You have hints of it at the end, with the ...

The major problem is not that it's over done. This lyric has potential -- you have an ear for sounds and rhythm -- but everything about it seems forced. I ...

Roflcopter. I found this incredibly amusing, and there's no one really obvious problem with it. What I did notice is that it feels like it's missing something, and it's hard ...

The spacing strikes me as odd. Not the format, but the way you've spaced your lines and stanzas. They're so spread out! Grammar: You can choose whether or not to ...

Hi! I'm going to critique this as I read. So, critique ahoy! The morning was a quiet one, the forest only beginning to awaken. The sun crept lazily over the ...

Hi, Spike! Before I start, most people make two critiques before they post their own work. You should probably do that too. I agree with Clograbby, it was very wordy, ...