barney

Hey there Bokkaku, The walls were white and the furniture was almost none -existent. -->It's probably nothing but i think it's supposed to be "non-existent". Although ^ okay as well. ...

Hey there, It took you so long to put this one up, I must say. I agree with wookielover17, this was sad and exciting at the same time. I didn't ...

Hey there! This an absolute amazing story. At first i thought it was one those "enchanted" stories. Like it was in the olden times. But then the iPod thing came ...

Hello, This is a nice story. Greatly written. I could only comment because I really don't see anything wrong with what you've written. Please continue writing! Great start :) -barney

I agree with them ^. Your story could be good only it needs a lot of tweeking. You have to put commas and periods so the reader can understand and ...

Hi :) Okay, great story. i got a little bit confused in one part, but it was still good. I didn't see anything wrong with your grammar. You should try ...

Just wanted to remind you to go and review. That way more people will also review your work. -barney :)

Hey there! Welcome to YWS.. Okay, here goes, He went to the car parked close to the wall. -'come' is more of an order. They were always complaining they never ...

Hey there! I didn’t see anything , but now I can feel them, sense them, and there were a lot of them. This was that damn cat 's fault! It ...

Hello there! okay, all the things i edited are in bold. School was finally over and I was walking home with Isabella. (Again) My nose was eating the scent of ...

Hey youreit! By the way, thanks for informing me about this. Anyway, looks like someone already pointed out your mistakes. I also liked the conversation between the boy and his ...

Hello, youreit. What a great start. I loved the story. I didn't see any mistakes, or i probably just missed them. Anyway, your story was great and it undeniably grabbed ...

Hey dragnet :) Okay let's see, this one was great. I only saw a few mistakes - probably just typos. Knowing that it just had to be a matter of ...

Hello fanclubofhaters, barney here! All my corrections are in bold letters.. Zanderbell watch ed over the princess, while she slept. He knew she wasn’t feeling well and she was very ...

Hello there. Let's see, i thought the story was okay. A bit confusing though. Like how Kanoni already knew Della was going to Alvarna but when they meet each other, ...