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Re: Dancing in the rain
I like! It sounds really good. keep writing! YOu really brought this to life and colored pictures in my head. I especially like the last line! Keep at it! luv/avie
Sep 20, 2009 -
Re: The Last Time (Never gonna happen again)
I like it! Is there a story behind it? I wonder? Not all that much I would change, except that you might get better results in the Lyrics Forum. Other ...
Sep 20, 2009 -
Re: Romance/fantasy Averian Marie Story
Chapter 3 Riding As they were riding, Geran could think of nothing to say. So, he let the view speak for him. They rode over lush hills, framed by the ...
Jun 19, 2009 -
Re: Averian Marie, Revised and Renewed
Please review. Harsh critics wanted! Thank you! Chapter One A foreigner Averian Marie glanced up from her books to the large bay window facing the palaces celebrated gardens. Not my ...
May 20, 2009 -
Re: Love's Hold
Way good poem! The rhyming is really good, and it is definitely a cool message. JUst a few switchups, though. This heaven is a prison With jail cells of white. ...
May 12, 2009 -
Re: -Deleted-
I really liked your poem! But I have a few questions. Who is it you are supposedly talking to? That is a major thing I would like addressed. There are ...
May 6, 2009 -
Re: Romance/ Fantasy Fiction
This is Chapter two of my story. It is Called Averian Marie, ( I think) But I am open to any suggestions on titles. PLease be as harsh as you ...
Apr 17, 2009 -
Re: When I'm With you.
You wrote a really great poem! I like it alot. There isn't a whole lot I would hcange, but just one or two things. The raging waves flow higher. The ...
Apr 17, 2009 -
Re: Longer than Forever
I really like your poem! It is great :D I have just a few suggestions Like the moon cannot rise until the sun has set, A heart cannot mend until ...
Apr 17, 2009 -
Re: Our Kiss
First Off, I'd like to say I really liked this poem, although it could use a few change-ups. Here are some of my suggestions. They will be in italics. -------------------------------------------------
Apr 8, 2009 -
Re: george W Bush
I personally liked Bush, he seemed like he was trying to do the best he could, but, as has been said, he just came at the wrong time. That is ...
Apr 7, 2009 -
Re: Does society have the right to put someone to death?
I believe society has the right to condemn people. I would rather know a killer is dead than have the possibility of him being released. Wouldn't you? But, I also ...
Apr 7, 2009 -
Re: Artemis Fowl Fanfic: Chapter 1
Okay, I liked the beginning of your story, but it could use a few touch ups. For now, I will put my changes in italics. Chapter 1: Into the mystery. ...
Apr 6, 2009 -
Re: Up The Horizon. first chapter
First off, I'd just like to say I love the beginnings of your story.
Apr 3, 2009 -
Re: Fantasy Romance
Averian Marie Prologue Geran watched as the foreign girl strolled through the castle's celebrated gardens. He had never seen such superb and astounding beauty in all of Teran. And believe ...
Apr 2, 2009
