autumngaspard

The only place I can really find fault with was where it just sort of took a very dark turn very fast. One line, you have butterflies and daisies and ...

Everyone is engulfed in the charismatic atmosphere, enjoying the final moments of the old year. Charismatic isn't quite used correctly here. Usually that word is used to refer to a ...

In the first paragraph, you have three though clauses in succession. In some cases this could just be a stylistic choice, but they alternate between the direction in they go ...

I've alway thought it silly to compare movies and books. To begin with, they're two completely different art forms. Comparing a film to a novel is like comparing a sculpture ...

I think the violent parts could have benefited more from more description of the organs. Actually naming individual ones would add a lot to the visual, and give the killer ...

Nice work. “It’s dark out, isn’t it.” You don't have to listen to this, but grammar would call for a question mark instead of a period. However, if you meant ...

You shouldn't call yourself terrible at poetry, as a.) it could make people less willing to read your writing and b.) it's not true. The imagery isn't bad, to say ...

The story and characters are good, but the mechanics could use some work. For instance, try to stick with one tense throughout the story. She doesn’t know that Ally has ...

First, I'd like to say that the ominous undertones are rather well done throughout the dialogue. Something I think you could work on is the perspective of your writing. At ...