autumngaspard

The only place I can really find fault with was where it just sort of took a very dark turn very fast. One line, you have butterflies and daisies and ...

The writing's pretty solid, but I don't understand exactly what happened to her at the end.

Banned for using a comparitive adverb without a proper other object to compare with.

Everyone is engulfed in the charismatic atmosphere, enjoying the final moments of the old year. Charismatic isn't quite used correctly here. Usually that word is used to refer to a ...

I'm sure your intentions are good, but this is so vague that I'm not even sure what you're saying.

In the first paragraph, you have three though clauses in succession. In some cases this could just be a stylistic choice, but they alternate between the direction in they go ...

I'm smiling a lot .

7/10. A good point, but a little unfair.

The fanblades on the ceiling spun, but did little to cool the air. Thick, sticky moisture hung about the room, clinging to the walls, the furniture. As the room perspired, ...

I've alway thought it silly to compare movies and books. To begin with, they're two completely different art forms. Comparing a film to a novel is like comparing a sculpture ...

It was a fairly standard Tuesday evening. School had been uneventful and easy to get through, I had finished all my homework in class, and I was blissfully freed up ...

I think the violent parts could have benefited more from more description of the organs. Actually naming individual ones would add a lot to the visual, and give the killer ...

Nice work. “It’s dark out, isn’t it.” You don't have to listen to this, but grammar would call for a question mark instead of a period. However, if you meant ...

You shouldn't call yourself terrible at poetry, as a.) it could make people less willing to read your writing and b.) it's not true. The imagery isn't bad, to say ...

I’ll never forget the day I decided to kill myself. It started normally enough, me waking up to a lack of plans for the near and distant future, stepping into ...