ata87uk

Thanks a lot for the comprehensive review. I've changed a few things around and taken on some of your points. I will continue adding more when time allows (I'm busy ...

I don't understand the "economic ripple of muscle" idea? Please explain :P

Thanks for the review. Well I'm not sure I see what's wrong with "the forest's edge" to be honest. The waterfall is to be found at the edge / periphery ...

I agree that there is a lack of direction in this poem. What is the underlying theme or mood? A simple poem must convey a simple message or moral. If ...

No need to review this anymore - check for "Gulvorian Tales"

The part about whether or not he actually is a Unicorn seemed a bit strange. Also, I found myself wanting to know more about the environment. However, you have an ...

[pre]The River Teyber meandered through the Gulvorian Forest like a giant serpent through untamed marshland. At the forest’s edge, water cascaded down eroded bedrock and tumbled into a shallow pool ...

It would be an easier read if you double-spaced your paragraphs. But I like your dialogue. The initial exchange between Tricken and the Clothes-maker is very amusing. However, there is ...

Oh yeah there is a lot more to come. Not sure why i posted that actually but i only just signed up to this website so I guess i just ...

Haha it's orginal and I like it. The weird stories are always the best :P

I don't want to sound boring, but the over description is an issue for me. However, please keep on with this and I will return to see how everything develops!

[pre]The River Teyber meandered through the Gulvorian Forest like a giant serpent through untamed marshland. At the forest’s edge, water cascaded down eroded bedrock and tumbled into a shallow pool ...