asxz

Hello, My name is Asxz, and it looks like I'll get first review. Jake sat next to Zec at the back of their R.E class. next to the fire door ...

At the beginning, i thought toe was about 3 years old, because of the poking with a stick and bad grammar. I thinnk we need to know alot more about ...

Hi, I'm asxz and I will be your critique I had a fairly big advantage by starting at the age of eight; where as most girls started at age twelve. ...

so the girl/boy can change into a bird? I think that if that is the case, then you need to explain the transformation a bit, something like: As I felt ...

Look, I'm really sorry to be blunt about this, but that story was really annoying for me. If this is a draft then that's fine, but you need to specify ...

I thought it was a good story! :wink: This is my first proper review, so don't blame me if it sounds harsh, as i picked yours as a good enough ...

very good plot and nice beginning of a story. Only thing to improve on is the Show and Not Tell bit, as i found myself wanting much more description and ...

There is a lot of grammatical errors, and some of the sentences do not make sense: "I walked knew me by name" The ending is a bit hurried and could ...

Yes, this is a very good beginning of a story. the first sentence grabs you and makes you want to read more. I also found this an exciting story, as ...

It didn't really draw me in at the start, and the ending was really straight-forward and short. To be honest, so was everything else. You need to expand on the ...