asxz

Okay, Hi! First, I'll introduce myself. I'm Asxz and I'll be your reviewer. I'll give you a grammar, line-by-line nit pick (spelling, too). Then I'll give you an overall review. ...

Okay, so i intend to do a quick review because this is a quick piece. First of all, I liked it. Very nice. Even though it's short, it has plot ...

Okay, so I've already read Chapter 1, and I just want to stop there to say: EMOTION! You need to have more emotion in your writing! There's such little... I ...

Okay, thanks for the PM! I get what you mean about these not being as exciting as the prologue, especially as the begining paragraph isn't too flash. I would say ...

Hi there! I shall review! First of all, I like the way you have the beginning, the very beginning, I mean. Like, how you tell us the time and place. ...

Okay, so I like the idea; a group of bandits hijack a boat, but they're so stupid that they end up being their own death. Good idea, but your writing ...

I agree with thajaro. You need a cliffhanger. For me right now, it sounds like a lament. Nothing's really poking out, but that's what the pece is supposed to be ...

Hi! I shall be your first reviewer! First of all, this sentence sounds a little odd: Where was I? What happened to me? Who was I? I didn’t know. It ...

I like the idea, and you descriptions in the first half were absolutely beautiful. But I disagree with caytlin. I think that you should leave it there. You've made your ...

Hmmm... gotta say that i like the prologue better, but not by much. Just because it had more action. I like the way you start here, though. Kind of catchy, ...

I agree completely with everyone else who reveiwed. Amazing piece, really. You should be proug, but I would like to know some stuff suck as: How old is she (You ...

Hmmm... Okay. Now I don't exactly get what's going on here, mainly because you're trying to open your little sister's christmas present (which is a 5 year olds toy) and ...

okay, so I get what you're trying to do. You're trying to make the character a depressed dude, right? All of the simple "been there, hated that" one liners make ...

P really like this, you had fantastic description that even I could never dream of! Although, between you and me, I don't think my escription is too good... But yes, ...

I like the concept of this, but you seem to repeat yourself a lot through the two letters, and somewhere in the second letter, I got a little comfused by ...